I hope that one day when someone reads it they can see themselves within these words I am scribbling down. Right now I am 27 years old. I have my own pressures within and then there’s the external pressures. I strive to do well both in Life and Work, do my best to balance it all. but I have alot of questions. with all the efoort I am putting in…is it all worth it?….the day I die will it all be worth it, what will my regrets be. will it be failin gto enjoy life by goin gout more with friends, will it be the goals I have failed to accomplish, or the goals that I didnt even try anything, will it the people I lost touch with, will it the fact that I gave people and work more time than I ever gave to my self. How can you balance all of this when at some poin tthere’s family looking up to you, young siblings lookin gat you for inspiration you cant afford to fail them, parents looking to you for growth and giving them grandchildren and at some point you find yourself feelin gguilty for not wanting to have kids yet or marriage. then you see friends getting married and it makes you think am I making the best decision really, what if I find myslef alone in my old age, what if these things am giving all my energy and time dont work out in the end?….I  get to ask my self alot of questions about the life I am leading I always get doubts and question my decisions. I get afraid of making some decisions, they say all that is normal but at times its quite scary.

But whenever I think of the regret ghosts that will appear the day I move on to my next life I know I will regret not taking a step forward, I want to have a smile on my face the day I die, say good bye to my people coz I know my time will have come and I know I will have given it my all. What we have currently is time and what matters is living each day and giving it your best. what sucks our energy alot is thinking about other people and what they think of us yet they actually dont care. whatever you do they will still talk about it for we are judged from the day we are born to the day we die. I am still a victim of this actually but at times I try not to give it too much attention. As I write this I am getting a heavy heart I dont know why. I am thinking we give alot of energy to alot of things that are just vanity. we care too much too much about people or things that dont matter at all. its all just vanity. I think what matters is nourishing your vessle and your soul until the day they are separated. I just hope everyone could just spare sometime to think more about there own life without any influence from out. But then even I, dont know what life really is, I am just figuring out myself as I grow older and currently these are my thoughts. Is it easy?…I dont know and I dont think so. But no matter how hard it is as long as it gives you a smile at the end of the day then I think its worth it, whatever you’re doing.